Culture & Custom

Indonesian customs vary from place to place and also depends on the ethnic groups which makes it almost impossible for a visitor to know and understand all customs. But like in any country in the world, good manners, courtesy and concern towards other people are essential to develop friendly relationships. Below are some specific suggestions that might be helpful.

Indonesians are generally indirect in their approach

The implication of this characteristic in the daily-life is that people tend not to talk or request something directly. They would avoid embarrassing the other party by saying “no” at the beginning, and also avoid embarrassing themselves by getting their request turned down by the other party. Usually people will make a request if they know that they have a fairly good chance of getting a “yes” answer. This indirectness, however, cannot be generalized. Usually the closer the relationship is, the more straightforward one can be.

One must consider others in the way they speak

If you talk rapidly, it is suggested that you talk slower, otherwise you might have to repeat some of the things that you have already said. Using common words is advisable. Slang expressions should be avoided, because they might not be understood or it may create misunderstanding.

Body language and gestures are important

A picture is worth a thousand words; this is also true in the case of body language. Some body language can be so degrading that a thousand words still cannot describe the meaning. Unfortunately, some body language which is common in one place, can be very insulting in other place, The following are some common body language that should not be done.

Crossing your legs and raising your feet high when you sit down

This regarded as disrespect, especially when one is sitting in front of an older, important or respectable person. However, crossing legs are still acceptable when the over-lapping foot is hanging low. Never raise your feet on the table, it is very impolite.

Calling a person with an index finger

In some countries, this kind of body language is very common, but in Indonesia it is one of the ways to call your dog, so it is very impolite to call a person this way.

Touching other person’s head

The head is regarded as the center of being and the most respected part of the body. Touching somebody’s head, especially if it is the head of an older person, is considered very disrespectful.

Using the left hand to pass anything and also to eat.

The right hand is known by almost all Indonesian as the “good” hand, while the left is considered to be the “dirty” one. Also, when you hand something over, please do not do it as if you are throwing it, as this is also considered very impolite.

The way a person dress-up is important

People tend to read you and make an impression of you through your clothes. Students may dress rather casually, except when they are in school, where uniforms are required. A more formal dress such as a suit, a jacket or a gown is used when attending a wedding or other formal occasions. For men, Indonesians’ long-sleeved “batik” shirt is considered formal.

One should be considerate of a religious believer

“Belief in God” is the first of five Indonesian National Principles. Indonesians are known as rather religious people, no matter what religion a person belongs to. Therefore any visitor is advised not to expose himself as a non-believer even if he is.

Indonesian people are very family-oriented

The family has the most important meaning for Indonesians. The relationship between each member of the family is close, although you would seldom see each member showing their feelings and affection openly. Without words, everybody knows and assumes that the other members of the family also know, that they love each other and will always take care of each other.

Parents especially fathers, have a very dominant role in the family. This is why the decision-making process in the family tends to be authoritarian. No matter how old a person is, he will always be his parents “child”. This means that a university student who is 22 years old or even a young married couple who still lives with the parents has to involve and consider the parents’ opinion in making their decision. To ask for the parents’ opinion and permission is not viewed as a form of dependency, but more as a form of respects toward them, as they are considered to have more experiences in life. It is very common in Indonesia that children live with their parents even after they are married.

Obedience is a very important value in the family. Children are seldom questioning the parents’ decisions and rules. As this is usually difficult to adjust, especially if you are coming from a liberal and independent society, please remember that it is as hard for Indonesian people to be more liberal as it is for you to be more obedient.
With a lot of patience and a large amount of time in discussing the different values that you and your Indonesian family have, hopefully you will understand each other and thus find “in between” values that are moderate enough for both your Indonesian family and yourself.

Time is viewed in a rather flexible perspective

School, office and most business usually function on time. The term “rubber time” describes the lack of importance on punctuality. Some Indonesians do not plan too far into the future.